It's called the happy list for a reason volume III.

Things that make me happy today:

• My perfectly dysfunctional family
• Hummus and cheese on toast
• Completing Day 6 of my 7-day challenge (TaTa Tamer here I come!)
• That my Grandpa made it through another day (and likely more days as well!)
• Facebook chatting my dad (because I'm so cool)
• That my opinion matters.

Life will get better eventually. Of that I am absolutely certain.

Timing is everything.

Just a random musing about the validity of this old adage. But furreal, timing is everything. And everything happens for a reason. No accidents, just meant-to-be's.

This week was eye-opening, to say the least.

it's called the happy list for a reason volume II

I decided to make my "things that make me happy" lists a recurring series on this here blog. I think I've been in a funk since I got back to Berkeley, and for some reason the constant sunshine and exercise haven't pulled me out of it. So, I'm making a conscious effort to be ever more aware of the little things that put a smile on my face. Here's an excerpt from my little happy book:

• Funny autocorrects
• Blowing kisses (or getting them blown at you!)
• My cute little ceramic coffee mug
• Reading other people's blogs
• When someone lets you cross the street
• Waking up early
• Having a constant support system

That's all for now. Life is beautiful, even when it feels like constant rain :)

Everything happens for a reason.

Today I found God.

Let's back up a bit with a preface: I do not proselytize, I do not wish to proselytize in any way, and I most certainly do not believe my belief in God is the correct one or appropriate for anyone else. I did not believe in God for quite a long time myself, so I completely identify with and understand opposing viewpoints. Preface concluded.

So let's talk about my relationship with God. I was raised Catholic and attended church kind of regularly and even volunteered in the Confirmation program. But around my senior year of high school I lost all faith. How could someone who supposedly loved his creations so much allow such pain and suffering? And prayer, don't even get me started. What good was that gonna do me? I fully believed that I was the only person who could help me. Me, myself, and I, facing this world all by myself. Coming to college only reinforced my beliefs, especially in being exposed to some of the brightest scientific minds in the world. There is no way this whole god thing can be real. And those people who constantly espouse their religious beliefs on campus, on Facebook, and in pretty much every other public forum? Losers. I found no way to reconcile even a morsel of faith with my desire for knowledge. I guess I was agnostic, meaning that I did believe in something bigger than myself, but I most certainly had no belief in an omniscient god watching over me and loving me. Even up to a few weeks ago, in reading some of my favorite blogs, I would cringe at the mention of religion and god. They don't need to tell me about this stuff. I don't care. God isn't real.

So what changed today? The past week and a half has been rough, to put it lightly. I don't think I was depressed, but I was unquestionably overwhelmed and was not handling it well. I had a mini freak-out Thursday night and it felt so good to cry. Then I survived the weekend and broke down again on Monday (which I am actually dumbfounded to remember was just yesterday). Things have just been off since I've been back in Berkeley. My friends are great, my classes are interesting, but I just couldn't find any happiness (so maybe I was a little depressed...). Then today I had to stay on campus during my break to deal with some soror business, and after I finished everything, I sat in this really random area of campus I had never sat in before. The sun was so direct that my forehead got sunburned, but that is really beside the point. While I was sitting there reading about the Civil Rights Movement, these two girls approached me. They said they were a part of the Campus Crusade for Christ (which I had heard of) and wanted to conduct a survey. So I said sure, why not. They handed me a stack of photographs and I had to choose which ones represented the way my life was, where I wanted it to be, what I thought "god" was, and who I wanted "god" to be. As I was choosing, I was awestruck. In describing one of my photos, I said that I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason, and the girl who was very evidently in charge of the interaction said that she felt like she sat down with me for a reason. She asked if I had heard of Campus Crusade, and I said that my sorority little sister was involved. Turns out, the girl had met with my little sis earlier today to talk. What a small world! What are the chances that this woman would come up to me, when I was out of my routine, on the very same day that she had met with my little sis (one of the most important people in my life), which just so happened to be a day in a long series of very painful and sad days?

And that's when it hit me. God reached out to me today, to tell me He's still there. And that He loves and cares about me. Everything happens for a reason, yes, because God loves us. Sometimes things have to suck so that we can remember how strong we are, and sometimes we deserve all the happiness in the world, because everything happens according to His plan. When the girls walked away, I cried a little bit and called my mom. She cried while I was talking to her, and said that she had asked God to show me He's still there. And that's precisely what He did today. I am so grateful and blessed, and have never believed more fully that everything happens for a reason.

So where does this put me? I know beyond any doubt that Campus Crusade is not the right forum for me, because I am still not down with preaching to others who believe in something else or don't believe at all. My heart probably still belongs to Catholicism, but really what I'm concentrating on right now is building up this reinvigorated relationship with God and restoring my faith. The whole organized religion thing is a whole other ballgame.

Wow, I feel good.

**This will most likely be the last post on religion on The Happy List. As much as I want this blog to be about my personal journey, I don't want it to offend/make anyone feel uncomfortable.

The City of Lights

Good news: perhaps just to spite those who doubted me, I somewhat impulsively put down a hefty deposit for a month-long study abroad program in Paris for this July. My friend Kate (the sassy ginger) is also going, and I know that we are going to have the best time.

I signed up on Thursday and have since been obsessively researching what will unquestionably be my favorite city in the world. This website is entirely comprehensive: it tells me what to wear, where to eat, and where to have fun. I have all these romantic notions of drinking wine in the sunshine, eating crepes as I walk down the Champs-Elysees, wearing a beret, and taking cheesy touristy pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower. Before I go, I want to get a fancy camera so that I can take pictures like this and claim them as my own:

Ugh, I am so envious of my future self. June 29 cannot come soon enough!

We also plan to travel every weekend. We only have class (sidenote: should I take a photography class or the history of haute couture in Paris?) Monday-Thursday for 2 hours, so we figure we'll explore Paris thoroughly during the week and spend each weekend in a different European city. I want to see Rome for the history and architecture, and Barcelona for the beaches and nightlife. Any European travel tips are greatly appreciated!

Yesterday I had an hour and a half to kill in between classes, so after meeting my friend Kate for coffee and a bagel, I roamed campus for a little bit. Any time I do this, I reach a new level of love for Berkeley. So yesterday, sitting in the

<---Campanile's shadow, I was inspired to make a list of everything I love so much about this place. Here it goes:

1. The University of California Berkeley. I suppose this one is sort of obvious, as it is the sole reason I'm in Berkeley to begin with. Combining first-rate academics (quite literally: Cal is consistently ranked as the #1 public university in the world

...talk about humbling!) with [mostly] first-rate athletics in one of the most vibrant and unique cultures in the country, UC Berkeley is without question where I was supposed to be. My major program is the #1 program in the world, and in my tenure at Cal, the Dalai Lama, Al Gore, Bill Gates [whom I was lucky enough to see], and Bill Clinton [still kicking myself for not scoring a ticket to this] have given lectures. There is just so much about Cal that gives me goosebumps on a regular basis.

Mario Savio during the Free Speech Movement of the 1960s.

Cal's history of activism is yet another thing I love about this place.

2. The food. I think this is true of the Bay Area in general, but food is just so good. Within walking distance of my house and of campus, I can find incredible masala at my favorite Indian restaurant, the best sushi in the world, Intermezzo's cheap salads and amazing sandwiches, and countless all day breakfast places which are perfect for a morning hangover or a study break. I'm fortunate in that two of my best friends have their cars here, which means Cheeseboard pizza (always my first recommendation for anyone new to Berkeley), Gordo's super burritos, and Fillipo's bread (and $7 endless wine once I turn 21!!) are accessible as well. Getting bored with food is a near impossiblity.

3. Proximity to San Francisco, Silicon Valley, and home. Self-explanatory, but it is so easy to get anywhere. Public transportation here is among the best in the world.

4. The views. When I look out my window or sit on the roof of my sorority, I can see all of San Francisco. On clear days, one can simultaneously see the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate. My favorite running route winds through the hills behind the football stadium, and I always have to stop, not to catch my breath, but to appreciate the beauty. Another run I frequent passes multimillion dollar homes that are hundreds of years old and the gorgeous and iconic Claremont Hotel, which I swear sparkles in the sunshine.

5. The people. I already mentioned the guest lecturers who have spoken here during my time as a Golden Bear, but there are literally too many other amazing people to name. Olympic athletes, world-renowned scientists, and Nobel Prize winners call this place home [seriously, there are Nobel Laureate parking spots all over campus]. Then there's the homeless guy who always says good morning and god bless, and countless people my age and younger who have already accomplished more than most grown adults have or could ever hope to. But my favorite people in this city have got to be my best friends. They have helped me navigate the first 2.5 years of college, and I am so grateful to have them in my life. Here's to the next 1.5 years!

because life should always be taken this seriously. :)

Time to go enjoy this wonderful city and the beautiful weather!

It's called "the happy list" for a reason.

The past few days have been trying, to say the least. I never stopped to think about how emotionally and physically draining it is to be the one person that everyone turns to to ask questions (I mean really, you can figure that shit out yourself), yell at, blame for problems that really have nothing to do with me, or complain to about everything.

I consider myself an eternal optimist [there is always a silver lining], and therefore in times like this, I try to be fully and deeply aware of everything in my life that makes me happy. So here is a brief list of things that immediately come to mind because they have put a (albeit fleeting) smile on my face since I've been back in Berkeley.

• Finding pictures like the one to the left on my iPhoto. This is a screenshot of a conversation between my sister Kendall and I in which we texted sans vowels. What's funny is that I understood exactly what we were talking about. Can you decipher any of it?
• Heart-to-heart/vent sessions with my little sis and/or my roommate. Alls I can say is thank god for these two right now.
• Having signed up for a study abroad program in France this summer! I'll be doing a 4-week Paris culture program for the month of July and could not be looking forward to it more. Time to start shopping! Any recommendations for Parisienne wear?
• Bullet points. They make my randomness seem to possess some sort of logical flow.
• PLANNER TIME! This is what I like to call the 15 minutes or so I spend everyday entirely devoted to entering dates into my planner. The little blue book is without question my besty.
• How long my hair is. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Gah, I feel better already. What are some of the things you're grateful for?

Don't [Stop] Yet

Amid the beginning of the semester/presidency insanity, I just wanted to share something random.

Last night on our way home from Kate's 21st birthday dinner, we stopped at a stop sign that said [Don't] STOP [Yet]. It was oddly inspiring to me. Don't stop yet. So simple, but enough for me to remember to keep focused, and most especially, to keep going. No matter what.

The dog days are over

**DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS GOING TO MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A CRAZY DOG LADY, AND MAYBE I AM. BUT AT LEAST I'M AWARE OF IT.

My cousin Michael is having his bar mitzvah this weekend in Newport Beach, meaning in 24 hours, I am heading down to southern California for the third trip in as many weeks. My mom and Paige are already there, and my dad and Kendall and I are on the earliest flight out tomorrow. This means that since my dad is at work today, I am left with the task of taking my beloved yellow lab Riley to the doggie hotel this weekend. Most normal people would be bummed that they didn't get to spend their last little bit of break at home, sleeping in their own bed, but I am saddest about not spending this time with Riley. I'm also sort of pathetically heartbroken that I'm the one who has to abandon her at the kennel. Obviously I'm not really abandoning her, but I do have to leave her there and won't see her for probably at least a month.

I guess I should mention that I am a vegetarian and have been one for about eight years. However, this does not translate into me being a huge animal lover. I am terrified of horses, hate cats (c'mon, they're creepy!), and generally avoid small rodent-like creatures (ie squirrels, raccoons, babies, etc.), but dogs, on the other hand... Riley is truly my best friend, and I miss her tremendously when I'm away at school. She gives the best hugs, is the best listener, and gets so genuinely excited about the smallest things. I think humans should be a lot more like her and other dogs.

Okay, enough gushing. Maybe it's time for me to have some human interaction today.

The 30 Day Shred

Since I last posted, I attended CASC's Advanced Skills Training to be a gamma again this year (which meant the trifecta of not sleeping enough, eating unhealthy food in unhealthy amounts, and no time for exercise; it also meant I was so detached from the world that I didn't hear about the Arizona tragedy until almost 24 hours later! My thoughts and prayers are with all those affected), stressed an insane amount, felt sorry for myself, and watched a lot of TV.

But, if you remember, I (and the rest of the world, or at least the United States) resolved to get healthier in 2011. So, following advice from a friend, I bought Jillian Michaels's 30 Day Shred dvd. It's a 20 minute workout, so I was expecting it to be pretty easy. Boy was I wrong. It was one of the harder workouts I've done, and I usually push myself pretty hard, so that's saying something. It combines strength training, cardio, and abs, which are my three workout staples, but I guess generally don't do them very affectively. Jillian seriously kicked my ass. I was sweating bullets, breathing heavily, and my muscles were shaking. But I was able to get through the 20 minutes, and I'm hoping that if I do it a few more times, I'll be able to move onto level 2. If anything, doing the workout was a reminder to me that I can do it, but I still have a long way to go to get back into volleyball shape. I guess I should clarify: I played on a travel volleyball team at the end of 8th grade, and I was in the most insane shape because all I did was go to school and play volleyball. I miss it, and am striving to get back to that point.

I think the 30 day shred and I are going to get along swimmingly. I'm all about immediate gratification and am truly one of the most (if not the most) impatient people I know. I think my obsessive compulsiveness and impatience go hand in hand. But back to the point at hand: Jillian's 20 minute workout is designed to totally change your body in just 30 days. I want to see results immediately, and hopefully Jillian can provide them. It's a new year and a new me!

Heading back to Berkeley on Sunday for what might be my last spring semester! Winter break went by really fast but I'm really excited about getting back into the swing of things. And, one of my favorite parts of living with all my best friends is that my very own personal trainer/motivator/inspiration lives right down the hall! Next week is serious business time.

Nothing quite like a fresh-made bed

doesn't it look fabulous? Seriously, I've got willpower

But I am avoiding its beckoning calls and promises of luscious back support for fear of anxiety-ridden dreams because of the disaster that still is my room.

I spent all day cleaning/organizing my room (seriously! My iPhone tells me I've burned 814 calories in five hours of intensive cleaning), and I am nowhere near done! As incredibly frustrating as my apparent lack of progress is, I am actually pretty satisfied with what I've accomplished so far. I have filled 4 full trash bags with clothes to give away (some of the stuff I found in the back of my closet was scary), I've done probably 10 loads of laundry (not all my own! I'm talking to you, Paige), and all my stuff for school is folded neatly in laundry baskets. I also did a little decorating (including a DIY project--done while watching I'm Pregnant and...[groundbreaking but disturbing] with Kendall) and have some new ideas to make my room more home-y. Blogger won't let me post any more photos, but as soon as I finish tomorrow I'll post all the stages of my progress!

Side note: I looked at my book list for this semester, and I need eleven books. Not especially alarming, until I realized nine of them are for one class. That only meets once a week. Ugh.

The Third Day

I've already learned so much this year in just three short days: how influential one person's behavior can be, how much I love and cherish days where I just sit around, and how much I truly appreciate my close friends and my family.

I spent New Year's in Los Angeles, and I forgot that I actually kind of like it. I don't know that I could ever live there, but I do appreciate it for its culture, which is so different from the Bay Area. I love that LA is so glamorous but wearing jeans and flip flops is always appropriate. I also think it gets a bad rap for being vapid and materialistic, because what city isn't like that?

We spent New Year's Eve at Universal Studios. City Walk was open, so we walked around and got interviewed by KTLA! We may or may not have eaten some mini donuts (okay, we did, and they were delicious). The park had three different firework displays so we sat in the Waterworld arena and watched the fireworks up close and danced and celebrated the beginning of 2011. The next day we ate a delicious lunch at Roman's (highly recommend the mozzarella panini!) and then went to an 18 and over nightclub via limo. Clubs aren't really my thing, but it was fun to dance and ward off creepy boys, and limo rides are always fab. Then yesterday my roommate Laura and I braved the rain to shop some more, first at the Hollywood and Highland Mall and then at the Grove. Anthropologie was having a fabulous sale, which I obviously couldn't (and didn't even try to) resist. I got two really cute tops (each $14.96! The shopping gods smiled upon me) that will be adorable with jeans for spring, and a cute coffee mug for my mom. We ate dinner at Maggiano's (which I never realized was a chain!) and saw How Do You Know, which was a good time killer but also not entirely enjoyable.

We drove home today and I have been catching up with emails and things for school. I can't believe the spring semester starts two weeks from tomorrow! I am feeling a little overwhelmed about it all, but there are so many things I'm looking forward to:

• Kate's 21st and all the subsequent celebrations
• Celebrating Laura's last semester by crossing everything off her bucket list
• Increasing my GPA some more (I'm getting greedy for A's...it's an obsession)
• Okay, I'll be honest. I'm nerdily excited for new classes, new books, and new opportunities to learn!
• No more communal bathroom, having cable, and having way more space
• Springtime in Berkeley, which means laying on Memorial Glade in the sunshine, celebrating the Superbowl in true gameday fashion, and going to class in sundresses
• Getting to spend every single day with my best friends

I'll miss my family a lot though! I get so comfortable living at home, and then just have to go back again. The next two weeks are going to be really busy, but I really want to totally clean out my room, give away half of my closet to charity, and do some DIY projects for my room in Berkeley. I also have a conference this weekend and my cousin's Bar Mitzvah right before I head back to school. Busy, but busy is good!

I just found out today that my sister Kendall is my first reader! So exciting. Thanks for following Kendall! I love you!

Look for pictures from my LA trip soon!