just in time for valentine's day, i believe in true love.

i'm quite the cynic when it comes to love. i often say (much to the chagrin of my mom and friends) that i'm never going to find anyone and that i'll wind up a crazy cat lady (i hate cats so this is just unrealistic anyway), but yesterday made me believe in true love like never before.

my mom's parents divorced when she was 11. my beloved grandfather passed away in february of last year. my equally beloved grandmother was diagnosed with leukemia in may. her prognosis wasn't good; doctors gave her through the summer at best. but like the warrior that she was, my grandma made it through the summer and the holiday season. she passed away yesterday peacefully, surrounded by her children and husband. february 6th, 367 days after my grandpa, her ex husband.

jane adelaide froman tiedeman was one of the best people i've ever encountered. she was independent, ferociously passionate about everything she did, and tremendously loving. she was also brilliant, and could offer the most perceptive advice even if she didn't know the whole story.

the short time since my grandfather died and my grandma got sick has given me the opportunity to consider what love is: what it means, what it looks like, and most of all, the power it has. i know that my grandparents loved each other up until the days they each died. maybe not in the same way that they did when they were married or when they fell in love in high school, but they did love each other. and that love makes me feel a little better about them passing so close together. i find solace in the image of them being together, watching down on me for eternity. i am grateful that i had them for 20/21 years, and i know they will continue to influence my life everyday.

true love always prevails.

"love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;

love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

love never fails...but now faith, hope, love, abide these three;

but the greatest of these is love."

the end is near. and happy birthday kate!

"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."

today marks my last first day of classes as an undergraduate.

feeling a host of mixed emotions--pride that i have gotten this far, and anxiety about what is to come, but mostly a tremendous sadness that i will soon have to say goodbye to the best four years of my life, and to the people and place that have come to mean so much to me.

me on my very first day of college! the blonde was a poor life choice.

i can remember my very first day of classes like it was yesterday. i owre a bright yellow dress and a gold headband in my hair. i threw up before my first class, which in college terms would generally be the result of alcohol consumption, but in my case was just a touch of nerves. (i swear, i didn't even go out the night before class!)

college has been hard. my freshman year especially. but these past four years, i have found myself, and as cliche as that sounds, i truly mean it. that wide-eyed, hopeful freshman is still in here somewhere, but she has been mostly replaced by a strong, confident woman who has come into her own. i have endured painful heartbreak these past 3.5 years, but i have learned from every single minute. i am insanely grateful for the opportunities that berkeley has afforded me, and i cannot imagine having gone to college anywhere else. this is the place i belong.

my graduation is four months from yesterday. i know these four months will fly by, but i am making a conscious effort to enjoy every last minute. i am going to embody that tom petty quote above. college has been so good to me, and i want to make sure it knows how much i've appreciated it.

today is not only my last first day of classes, it is also my best friend kate's 22nd birthday! or, as we are calling all our birthdays this year, it's the first anniversary of her 21st birthday. we will be celebrating in our usual tuesday style tonight (taco tuesday, then kip's) and i cannot think of a better group of people to be spending the night with.

happy birthday kate!

on "winter" and the end of college.

Ah, the glory days. Summer 2011. I guess it wouldn't be too bad to welcome summer again.

In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.

-albert camus

sometimes i get so wrapped up in winter that i forget summer will ever come around again.

not that i have much to complain about. california's current weather hardly qualifies as "winter."

but still.

it's dang cold

and my skin is not down for that chill on my face. helllllllo moisturizer!

my feelings are so torn about summer's rapid approach this year.

usually i ask for it, beg for the sunshine, tanlines, and juicy fruits and veggies.

i download a countdown app on my iphone

so that i can watch the seconds tick away toward three months of bliss.

but this summer,

summer 2012,

means real life.

no more waking up at noon already in my swimsuit and heading straight for the pool,

no more late nights watching the stars.

no more seemingly endless and hopeful weeks that seem to stretch on for eternity.

this summer means

a job

my own apartment

paying bills

and having to work on my birthday.

it means responsibility

responsibility

responsibility

and probably less fun.

with graduation looming before me, i am dreading the eventual arrival of summer. how bizarre is that?!

so for now, i am going to soak up every minute i can of this seemingly perpetual winter. i will embrace the coats and scarves, the frost on the windshield, and the piercingly brisk air. i will cherish the rainy days, long nights, and chapped lips.

i won't complain when the weather forecast doesn't read over 70 for weeks at a time. or when i have to trek to class in a coat and rainboots, only to arrive drenched in sweat from walking so fast.

this winter means college.

summer brings a new challenge,

one that i'm not sure i'm quite ready for.

yet.

i have 6 more days left of my very last winter break ever, and i intend to make every moment count.

this winter, i am digging deep for my invincible summer.

happy wednesday, y'all!

"make excuses, or make changes."

to say that i sort of fell off the blogging bandwagon would be quite the understatement. i started blogging because of the catchy pictures of cute outfits and adorable date nights with boyfriends/fiances/hubbys that i someday envisioned having. i wanted the glamorous lifestyle i imagined all these bloggers to have. but then i realized that's not why anyone blogs. sure, you can put together cute outfits, but you blog because you're confident with your body, style, and sense of self. or you and your adorable husband and dog go on precious hikes through the forest and you take photos on your nikon all along the way, but you blog because of how much you cherish and love those people and those memories.

i should blog because it makes me a better person. it challenges me to pick my words carefully, think of fun, creative things to do with my hair/clothes/room/life, and appreciate the good in others. the blog world is where i found the green monster, weight loss motivation, and so many uplifting stories during a time in my life when i really needed them.

last night i was watching the biggest loser (while running on the treadmill. talk about motivation), and in her little intro, the host said that it was time to "make excuses, or make changes."

i've decided that this year is a time for change. sure, resolutions are great, but i never stick to them. i don't want to overhaul my life (nor do i think i really need to), but i want to consciously make the effort to make small changes. and i think it will start with blogging.

so welcome to the new and improved happy list.

so glad you could join me.

take me back tuesday: la tour eiffel

so this post is comin' at you a little late in the day.

just too much lounging around to do this winter break.

but here comes the second edition of

take me back tuesday

highlighting my favorite part about europe: la tour eiffel

aka the eiffel tower

aka the place where dreams come true

aka future-fiance-to-be-you-better-propose-to-me-there-or-else.

the entire time i was in paris, i don't think i went more than three days without visiting the monument. the first day i saw it, i went there twice. real life.

there is no more romantic place in the world.

sometimes i just dream that i am sitting on the grass, tan and happy, drinking wine with my friends.

doesn't that sound just tres fabuleux?

la tour eiffel, a bientot!

oh, you're such a pretty thing. i'll take you and i'll make you all mine.

friends, there are far fewer things more important during finals week than the playlist bumpin' through my headphones. thought i'd share what i've been jammin' to while writing my papers/kind of studying for my friday exam.

from the clouds -- jack johnson (lyrics above; so romantic)

someone like you -- adele

what hurts the most -- rascal flatts (a dramatic interpretation of my finals experience)

don't stop believin' -- journey (just a little hopeful, ya know)

no church in the wild -- kanye west and jay-z (yes, i've been watching the throne)

made in america -- kanye and jay

baby it's cold outside -- dean martin (the best version)

eeeeeeeeee so excited to be done with finals in just about 48 hours!

take me back tuesday

in the midst of my finals-induced blues, i decided to look through all my photos from my trip to europe this summer (really bad idea. now i feel even sorrier for myself). i got to thinking that i had a lot i had never shared, so naturally, given that it's finals week, this seemed like the perfect time to start sharing!

welcome to the happy list's new weekly feature:

take me back tuesday.

once a week, i'll be sharing a snippet of my journey through paris, barcelona, amsterdam, and normandy, until i'm all out of stories to tell and pictures to show.

sound good?

first up is our weekend in barcelona.

we didn't love the city a whole lot (because really, paris had already spoiled us for 9 days. nothing compares to the city of lights.) but we had a lot of fun and were able to see the entire city in three days.

la sagrada familia. constantly under construction.

while we were there, we ate a ton of delicious food (remember this post about my favorite restaurant?), drank plenty of sangria, and got plenty of sun, which, unbeknownst to us at the time, was just about the last sun we were gonna get in europe, as it rained in paris our last two weeks. we also took a bus tour and saw all the incredible architecture. and we spent an entire day at the beach!

(below is just one of the many...characters...we encountered)

rule #5677 of traveling abroad: always find englishmen to buy you drinks. thanks, friends!

oh, please, take me back! i'd give just about anything to be back in barcelona, rather than stuck in berkeley studying for my final.

happy tuesday!

studyin' studyin' YEAH

(read that title to the tune of the rebecca black classic "friday"--partyin' partyin' YEAH!)

so this week is going to be utterly consumed with finals - studying and writing and more studying - and a helluva lot of procrastination.

weird to think that this is the last time i'll ever do this as an undergrad. almost 7/8ths done with my BA!

so, all the while, i will be day dreaming about the wonderful weekend i just had

(random collection of photos seen above)

and fantasizing about friday night

when my friends and i take on berkeley for one more night of the fall semester!

Happy Monday and happy studying to all of you still taking finals!

*With my besties Kevin and Morgan at Morgan's b-day dinner at BJ's

*My brown eyed girl Riley. We had a photo shoot during my pit stop at home

*Morgan's beer samples at BJ's - homegirl's legal!

*Beet salad nom nom nom

*Christmas tree at the Grove. Who said there wasn't green in LA?

*Seasonal yam tacos

Happy Birthday Morgan!

Today is my very best friend Morgan's 21st birthday!

Morgan and I have been best friends since we were 5,

and I am so excited to say that I am typing this post on Thursday afternoon,

getting ready to take a flight down to LA to surprise Morgan for her birthday!

You see, it really just didn't seem right to miss such a momentous occasion.

Somebody's gotta be there to hold her hair back/scream SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS/help her through her hangover.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND!

So grateful for your friendship after all these years,

and so happy to be spending this day with you!

off the grid SF

Last night my best friend from freshman year asked me if I was free for dinner. At this point in the week, I'll take just about any excuse to take a break from studying, and because I wanted to see my dear Dara, so I jumped at the chance. He recommended we go to Off the Grid, which I had never heard before. Let me tell you, my life is changed.

Off the Grid is a food truck festival. The company blocks an entire city block off and around ten food trucks come in and sell their goods. There's live music and chairs set up so that you can sit and enjoy your food and your company.

I had a California tofu burrito with french fries in it (can't put into words how good it was) and Dara and I split a salted carmel and a red velvet cupcake.

If you're in the East Bay, Off the Grid sets up shop at Shattuck and Rose in Berkeley every Wednesday evening. For SF locations, check the link above.

You must try!

you make me feel like i'm livin' a teenage dream.

Two weeks ago I took my baby sister Paige to the Katy Perry concert at Oracle Arena in Oakland.

I'm not a huge Katy fan, but Paige loves her so I was excited. And even better yet, Ellie Goulding opened for her. Ellie is my fav. They both put on an awesome show. So fun and so.much.energy.Didn't Paige look adorable? We certainly got lots of attention, which I loved. ;) Someone asked if I was supposed to be a referee...#awkward.

I have this entire week off of class and next week is finals week.That, of course, doesn't mean I am spending the next five days studying.Today I plan to catch up on some TV (and all the sleep I missed this weekend). Tomorrow night is my sorority's senior bar crawl! And then I have some very fun plans for the weekend :)

I'll study eventually, tehehe.

Happy Monday!

because i will always have a soft spot for *nsync, double dare, and bill clinton...

Yesterday one of my facebook friends posted a link to this article.

Given that I was born in 1990, making me a true child of the 90s, I was immediately intrigued.

As I read, I found myself nodding vigorously and emphatically.

each one is so true!

So I figured these must be shared.

Blog friends, I present to you:

10 Things 90s Kids Will Have To Explain To Their Children

1. Topanga was at some point in human history considered not only a legitimate first name for a human being, but the kind of name that would inspire in malleable teenage boys a life-long infatuation. Topanga, in our day, was leading lady name-material. Topanga (pronounced Tah-payne-ga, for those who will have only ever seen in it written down) is the name of the quintessential girl-next-door who will live, along with Feeney, in our hearts forever.

2. At some point, we carried around little plastic eggs with tiny screens on them — in these screens lived our hearts, our pets, our raison d’etre, our very own Tamagotchi. We loved them, we listened to their tiny electronic screams of malnourishment, and we occasionally forgot to pick up their poop for long enough that they died a tortured, poop-filled death. They were perhaps our first foray into the life-consuming world of electronics and self-absorption, later to be fully manifested by Facebook.

3. The black Power Ranger was black and the yellow Power Ranger was Asian because…we were so completely ahead of our time and beyond the capacity to even think in terms of something as inconsequential as race that… uh… I don’t know. Casting directors were racist in the nineties.

4. Long before he was spending his days foisting his mediocre children on us, Will Smith was actually the perfect human specimen. He also undoubtedly holds some world record for saving the world the most times while simultaneously delivering flawless catchphrases and giving cool guy nods to the camera. The Men In Black rap song, at the time, was created and received by the public without the slightest trace of irony. Really. He wasthat good.

5. In some inevitable shift of the time-space continuum in which James Cameron continues to rob humanity of all that is good and sacred in this world, Fern Gully will be known as that movie that ripped off Avatar. It will be up to us to crusade for what is right. It is up to us to explain that Fern Gully was not only a predecessor to Avatar, but far better, in that it contained both Tim Curry as a singing pile of molasses and Robin Williams rapping about animal testing in the pharmaceutical industry. (As a side note, if you have not recently listened to the full lyrics of the “Batty Rap,” I recommend you do, as they are horrifying.)

6. A neighborhood boy who completely disregards your family and puts a ladder directly under the teenage girl’s window to climb up at his discretion is not only acceptable, it’s charming. It’s the kind of stuff that would make said family take the ladder boy under their wing and into their heart. The nineties were a simpler time, one where we didn’t have to worry about things like breaking and entering. Clarissa today would have steel bars on the inside of her window and her father would continually remind her that the next-door boy with his ladder and his touchy hands have no place in his household.

7. Though on the surface, they are the exact same thing in every conceivable way, whether you liked The Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC said more about your character than all of the terrible macaroni art you could ever make for your child psychologist. Essentially, liking *NSYNC meant you liked Justin Timberlake, as he was clearly the Seabiscuit in that race from the get-go. You even liked him with his terrible, icy-blond mini-fro. Liking the Backstreet Boys gave you a bit more of a cultured palate, as there was no clear Diana in those Supremes. Nick was kind of the wholesome, if northern-Florida-redneck safe choice (save for his humiliating younger brother, Aaron). Brian was the shy, sensitive type. AJ was the hottt, dangerous meth addict. Kevin Richardson was mute with sexy, sculpted facial hair. No one liked Howie. Choosing between the two groups was like choosing between two beloved children, but once that line was crossed–there was no going back.

8. “I wanna really really really wanna zig a zig ahh,” has a meaning, and all true nineties kids know it, but we must never share it. Like the Illuminati, it must remain between us, the keyholders. With great power comes great responsibility.

9. Lisa Frank is not the name of a woman, it is the name of a movement, a culture, a way of living. It is a theory, a concept, a belief in something greater than yourself. It is the belief that all girls are entitled to dolphins covered with rainbows, jewel-encrusted frogs, and unicorns in acid-trip colors hugging each other. It is the ideology that no notebook is complete until it literally hurts your eyes to look at from so much color saturation. It is the hope that no school supply, no matter how insignificant, will be left un-bedazzled. It is the knowledge that your eraser cap, and that of your granddaughter’s, and her granddaughter’s after her, will not be some boring little nub–it will be a diamond covered with butterflies in a rainbow of colors. It is the dream of a better tomorrow.

10. Incredibly depressing women in Indiana covered in cats and glass figurines they buy at The Hallmark Store used to troll the web 1.0 to invest thousands of dollars in tiny stuffed animals filled with plastic beans. That happened. Beanie Babies were not just significant, they were the first example most of us had of envy, greed, and wrath. If someone messed up that little heart-shaped Ty tag, so help you God, that was the end of whatever contact you had with that monster of a human being. That tag-less Beanie Baby was now trash, and you had to deal with the consequence. It was at that moment, that de-valued Beanie Baby moment, that most of us accepted the truth… we’ll never have nice things.

Riiiiiiiight?!?!??!

Have a great weekend!

happy december!

december is the most magical of months.

i can feel the christmas spirit already!

(okay, maybe that's because i've been playing christmas music since november 1...)

i cannot wait to get started on my christmas shopping!

picking out the perfect gift for someone is just as good as, if not better than, receiving a gift, in my opinion.

today is also my last (official) day of classes for the semester.

man oh man, how time flies.

just got some loose ends to tie up

(in the form of 2 15-page papers and a final exam)

and then i'm home free!

hope this first day of december is warm and snuggly for you!

Happy Birthday Paige!

Today is my baby sister Paige's 17th birthday!

Wish I could be there to celebrate with you, girlfran.

You are truly one of the most beautiful people I know,

and I wish you all the happiness in the world during your 17th year!

this year, i am thankful for.....

my health & happiness

berkeley

cupcakes, pies, and muffins, oh my!

getting an education

all the fun memories from this year

my dear friends, without whom i would lack those memories

my family, who is all huddled together this thanksgiving, stuffing our faces with turkey and sweets and remembering what's important in life

Happy Thanksgiving!

May your day be warm, reflective, and full.

happy birthday mom!

today is my beautiful mother's birthday.

i wish my internet connection were stronger at home so that i could post some pictures.

but those will have to wait until i'm back in berkeley!

the most special part of today is remembering my grandpa.

he used to send my aunt and my mom flowers on their birthdays every year,

and today my uncle and my dad both sent my mom flowers in my grandpa's honor.

grieving never gets better, but it gets easier everyday that goes by

especially when you have people you love around you.

happy birthday mom!

i am so glad to be home sharing it with you.

my heart breaks for berkeley

berkeley is a place that has grown to take up a huge place in my heart.

the culture, the history, the intellect--

everything is so vastly rich and wonderful that i am frequently and massively humbled to be an admittedly insignificant part of such a place.

lately, though, berkeley has been hurting in a big way.

extreme budget cuts and fee increases have left campus in a state of turmoil.

students are outraged, and i know in my heart that the administration is doing everything they can to fix things, but they're not doing anything quickly enough.

occupy cal has drawn national attention.

protests have interrupted classes, spirit rallies, and just generally everyday life.

to make matters worse, last tuesday there was a shooting at the business school.

a student brandished a gun and got shot by the cops. he died.

on friday night, as my friends and i were driving to the movie theater to see breaking dawn, we smelled fire. on our way home (3 hours later) we saw a huge fire raging on telegraph (which, if you are unfamiliar with berkeley, is the main thoroughfare).

we soon learned that not only had our favorite restaurant and favorite bar been destroyed, but so had the 39 apartments above the businesses. 70 students are homeless, all of their worldly belongings destroyed, 3 weeks before final exams.

i cannot even begin to imagine.

so, this week, i am going to be especially thankful for my health, happiness, and home.

and i will be even more thankful for my experiences in berkeley these past 3 and a half years.

i ask for your prayers for a place that has truly become my home.

pray for berkeley!

image via

two weeks until thanksgiving!

thanksgiving might just be my favorite holiday.

the food, the family, the feeling.

i can't believe it's only two weeks away!

i'm going home next monday

and i can't wait

because home means hugs from my doggy

and being silly with my sisters

and baking

baking

baking.

here are a few recipes i cannot wait to try

(all via pinterest)

oatmeal banana peanut butter muffins

double pumpkin bundt cake

pesto tomato avocado grilled cheese

chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake

about to be betty crocker up in here

can't wait!

what happens in vegas...

winds up on the blog.

vegas really is the best place on earth.

it's like disneyland for adults

so much to see and do

never a dull moment.

since i turned 21

i've been to sin city twice.

once for my own birthday

and just a few weeks ago for jasmine's.

love life. love vegas. love my friends.